Raj Bhasa

Our national language, Hindi, was never my strong point. I used to dread the Hindi classes even in school.

Our Hindi teacher in the lower classes was Mr Roy, an elderly stern gentleman, with a shock of closely cropped white hair. He fired random questions at us and whenever anybody gave a wrong answer or acted “funny”, he would go up to the boy and use his standard expression, “Oh! My child…!” and his entire arm would quiver in anger. This was usually followed with a rap on the head!

Mr Roy was replaced by Mr Dikshit in middle school. In many ways the successor was diametrically opposite to the former. Both in mannerism and looks- Mr Dikshit was short and plump and had oily black hair parted at the side. For incorrect responses, we were lovingly beckoned to the front of the class with a mild invitation, “Aaiye saab!” When the offending party was within range pat would land a “flying slap” known as ‘udon chati’ in Bengali on the head of the hapless victim. It didn’t hurt much save one’s sentiments and of course ‘prestige.’ With this background in Hindi and with atrocious marks, I passed out from school and bade Hindi good-bye.

Ha! Little did I know what was in store for me... After joining SBI, I was posted in a town in Madhya Pradesh. We had a fair number of staff and officers, none of whom knew any Bengali. However, their English matched my Hindi with some very rare exceptions, so my awkwardness was not one way.

On this particular day, it was raining torrentially and a lady staff member from my team wanted to go home early and she came up to me to ask for permission. Out of consideration for her, I asked,” Thik hai madam…Aapko chhati hai naa?” She looked at me with a peculiar expression, replied in the affirmative and left.

In the evening when I narrated the incident to my better half ( incidentally from U.P.) she laughed and laughed until tears streamed down her cheeks. “You are lucky she didn’t charge you for harassment or abuse. Chhati  in Bengali means an umbrella but in Hindi it means chest. Better stick to English if you don’t want to get thrashed someday.”

I paid heed to her advice from then on.