This is a country where until the generation I belong, the fifty plus ones, there were certain established rules that needed to be followed-in schools, colleges, work places and of course, the home. We were always expected to do what we were expected to, not what we wanted to! If one wanted to study a particular course in college the opinion of the seniors would be sought and ultimately what they thought best would be decided, forget about the student’s own choice.
If one wanted to be a sports person or an actor, God help him or her! There are umpteen number of cases where icons of the various fields had to fight their way to the top against all odds; the greatest being family objections. Choosing football or cricket for a career was taboo. So too was a literary career. This was, perhaps, to be expected in a society which had been for generations used to being told what to do. What was surprising was that these same elders and peer groups turned to sycophancy the moment you became successful- the yardstick of success being your bank balance!
In our personal lives we always had the luxury of our better halves being selected by our parents and other elders. Who cared about consulting the “would- be” groom or the bride, for that matter? It was ordained and so shall it be..... If the marriage failed it always triggered the usual blame game and a matter of “I told you so”. If the marriage turned out successful then the whole brood, especially from the husband’s side would go all out to establish how useless the wife was. Not only was she good for nothing, ever since she came into the house hold the whole atmosphere had been vitiated. This is usually true for 90% of the successful arranged marriages. The question therefore is that if the girl was chosen by the family, then how do these very same people find fault with everything she now does? And God forbid if the wife intends to build her own career! She should have known better, we wanted a home maker not an office going careerist! I remember distinctly that the greatest regret my grandmother had was that she had not been allowed to complete her studies even though that was what had been promised. The couple were not allowed to migrate to Burma to live their own lives peacefully, perhaps some 80 or 90 years ago. History repeated itself 15years ago in Bilaspur.
Alas, nothing has changed. Even though you are fed up with the mundane things and have no interest in either the items of conversation or the speakers, you are expected to be PART OF THE FAMILY and to toe the family line. Your own life can go to hell!
The blue eyed boy has taken a complete turn from being Dr. Jekyll.....
